Released

Met up with Jai a little while back, but something blocked the circuitry, I think. The conversation was revealing, to say the least.

He came across rather forcefully as the young and angry sort. And as someone who, in his pursuit of certainty, sometimes mistakes (or wilfully substitutes) inner conviction for empirical contiguity. Like the “fact” that life is truly meaningless because he truly felt it while tripping on one of his recreational drugs.

Then there’s his penchant for using psychological tricks to manipulate people, which he shares like dirty secrets.

I suppose — if life is without value, then people are without value. If nothing else, there’s that logical consistency. Even if it only connects the dots between the most unsavoury cliches.

That was the point of disconnect. Hopelessly sapiosexual, there’s no greater turn-off than a mind that doesn’t realize its own potential for self-parody. Guess I’m not too fond of the idea of being one of his psychological experiments either.

Suddenly I have no more interest — not in him, not in the notion of capture. And I realize I can take my own goddamn pictures.